Change – is it always scary – is it always stressful?
Sometimes change can be scary and can cause us to feel a huge range of emotions. Sometimes we avoid change because of this. It can feel safer to stay how we are. But change can often end up being good for us.
Some of you may remember the David Bowie song – Changes. Some of the lyrics are:
Turn and face the strange
There’s gonna have to be a different man
Yes – strange is new and strange is difficult. But if we want to be different from how we are now, we have to face the strange. Maybe that’s the trick – use the term different instead of change. Somehow that seems less scary don’t you think?
I have a friend who recently experienced a huge change in her life around her career. This change was imposed upon her instead of her choosing to change. She really struggled with it at first, because it was not what she had planned. She felt scared and alone as she worked out how to deal with it. I talked to her about this being an opportunity, and a time to think about what she really wanted to do.
In my work with clients I use metaphors a lot. And one that I love is the lobster metaphor. I talked to my friend about this. Initially she was puzzled at how a lobster could help in dealing with the stress that she was feeling. So I explained.
A lobster is a soft delicate animal who is protected by a hard shell. This shell is great at protecting the lobster but the problem arises when the lobster needs to grow. The shell is stopping that growth. So what does the lobster do? It finds a safe rock to hide in and sheds that shell and grows another bigger one. For that time, the lobster is vulnerable, which is why he has to be protected under a rock. This keeps on happening, so that the lobster can continue to grow. Each time it can come out from under the rock as a different lobster. A bigger, braver lobster.
My friend recognised that she was currently under that rock, licking her wounds like the lobster growing his new shell. This helped her a great deal, as she realised that being under that rock was a time to grow and learn.
It’s important to realise from this story that the stimulus for a lobster to grow is that it feels uncomfortable. This is the trigger for growth. And it’s the same for us – we have to go through that uncomfortable stage for us to be able to grow and change, become different from how we have been. We have to face the strange.
My friend is through her period of change, at least that one as there will be others. She found the lobster story a great example of how to approach change and still thinks about it now.
If you want help to change,
know you need to face the strange,
to be different from how you are now,
hypnotherapy can help.
I can give you tips and techniques to help you to deal with those feelings that we all experience and come out of the cave a different person. Just like the bigger and braver lobster.
Give me a call or e mail me to set up a time for a free no obligation chat about how we could work together.
Change is possible today